Home is Where the Heart Is
by Nicole1
Summary: This is a series of episode tags from season two that add or expand on moments bt John and Teyla. It is one story, but each one focuses on a different episode. Please R & R
1. Missing You

This is a story that i started during season two of Atlantis. It is a series of episode tags and missing scenes that add more John and Teyla to each episode. Each new chapter assumes that what I have written in previous chapters happened. So it is one story, but each chapter takes place in a different episode of season two. I will add one to Lost boys and the hive once I actually see the hive in January.

Enjoy and reviews are always loved and appreciated.

Nothing is mine, don't sue.

Chapter One

Missing You

**Tag to "The Intruder" so major spoilers to this episode**

"Ladies." John Sheppard's words echoed in the back of Teyla'a mind as she wandered the corridors. She closed her eyes and remembered the earthy smell of him as he had leaned in close over her shoulder. His smell always reminded her of her home world, he smelled like the forests she had played in as a child. After trying to coax Dr. Weir into conversation she had left the room and headed toward the sparring room where she and John had spent so much time of late together training. But it didn't appear he would be joining her today, she couldn't help but feel a little hurt. _You wouldthink he would at least have wanted to talk to me, we have not seen each other in over a month. Perhaps he did not miss me as I have missed him_. He hadn't seemed to interested in engaging her in conversation, only wanted his damn report.

Not that she couldn't sympathize, she too was worried about Lt. Ford. But still….she could have sworn when their eyes had connected briefly before she presented it to him, she had glimpsed the same love and longing in his eyes that she knew were in hers. Then he had taken the information, and she wasn't sure if what she saw was real or if she imagined it. _Still it would have been nice if he had spent more than ten seconds in my presence before running off to bury himself in his work again._

She looked up to find herself standing outside the training room door. _This is not where I want to_ _be,……damn him_," Teyla thought as he leaned against the wall and ran her fingers through her long hair. Slamming her palm against the metal she made her decision. She turned and strode with purpose all the way to John's office door, raised her hand…..and stopped. All of her confidence seemed to melt away. What were those butterflies doing in her stomach anyway. She took a deep breath and forced herself to push his door chime.

"I'm busy," was the curt reply she received.

Despite herself Teyla felt the moisture well up in her brown eyes. She swallowed and managed to calmly reply, "I am sorry, Ma, I mean Colonel Sheppard. I will return at a more convenient time." Teyla turned and walked three steps in the opposite direction when the door flew open, followed by a very rushed looking Colonel. She stared in stunned silence as he almost tripped over his own feet in his hurry.

"Teyla," he tried to sound casual, but it came out more breathless. He began ringing his hands as he continued, "I didn't mean… I mean I thought…., he took a deep breath and met her eyes. "I'm sorry, I thought you were another young kiss ass military brat wanting to congratulate me on my promotion."

She rewarded him with a smile, "It must be terrible to have so many people look up to you," she teased.

"Yeah," he laughed, "There must have been at least thirty people by so far."

"They are just proud of you, as I am."

"Thanks Teyla, it's nice to here that from someone I know actually means it."

"You deserve it."

His smile faded, "You know if I'd known it was you, I never would have…..this is silly, why don't you come in my office. We look kinda strange standing out here in the hall."

She nodded and followed him into the room. He pulled out the chair in front of his desk for her, and then took his seat behind it. "Soooo, what are you doing here by the way," he prompted.

"Well, I just wanted to talk to you Colonel," she replied honestly.

"Please call me either Sheppard or John, I haven't gotten used to that Colonel thing yet."

Her eyes narrowed.

He raised his hands up in defense, "Alright, alright, I love being called Colonel, but it's just you don't have to be so formal with me all the time you know. Your not like that with Dr. Weir. In fact you two seemed pretty deep in conversation when I last saw you."

Teyla's eyes widened. "Correct me if I am mistaken, but had you not left to study the report on Lt. Ford when I engaged Dr. Weir in conversation.."

John ducked his head and began to drum his fingers on the desk. A few awkward moments passed. When he looked up there was a sadness in his eyes. "Well, I started to leave, then I thought of something, but I saw you and Elizabeth together, and well I didn't want to interrupt, so I came here." he managed to get out.

It took a moment for her to take in everything he'd just blurted out, she watched as he made circles on his desk with his finger. "I am sorry, I am not sure I followed all of that," she looked at him questioningly.

"Uhh, yeah,' he whispered and began to rub his eyes with the palms of his hands. "It was nothing really, we'd just been gone over a month and …. _God this is stupid, Just say it John_.. "I was coming back to talk to you." There that wasn't hard at all.

_There's those butterflies again_. Teyla smiled. "Well I am here now, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Wasn't important. I should probably just get back to my work," John bent over the file.

_Oh no you do not_. "John."

His head shot up and he stared at her with wide eyes. Teyla had his attention.

"Do you not want to know why I wanted to talk to you/"

He blinked, "Talk to me. Oh yeah, that's right, I guess I forgot.". _Probably just wants to add something to the report._ "Is it about Ford?"

"No, it has nothing to do with him," Choosing her words carefully she added. "I just wanted to see how you have been."

"How I've been," he repeated in shock.

"Yes, you have been on Earth for over a month now."

John felt a strange warmth inside, "Well, what did you want to know?"

_Damn the butterflies_. Now was as good a time as any to try out that human tactic she had observed. "Perhaps you should tell me what you wanted to talk about first."

John blanched and seemed to find a pen sitting on his desk fascinating. "Nothing major, but like you said, we've been gone a month."

Teyla blurted, "And we have not had any contact in that time."

"Exactly!" So how are things? Meet anyone new, save the world at all, or just business as usual?"

"Nothing quite as exciting as your adventures on the Daedalus. What about you, how was Earth?"

"Oh quite boring actually, signed some papers, had some briefings, got promoted," his voice lowered so much Teyla had to strain to hear the rest. "I just wanted to get back to Atlantis, missed it here….missed….. "People"." he said while passing the pen back and forth between his hands.

She leaned over the desk, "I know what you mean. I too missed….."people"."

"You did," he met her eyes.

"Yes it is lonely without "people" to talk to. She smiled "It has been hard to find a worthy sparring partner."

"Yeah I know what you mean. There certainly wasn't anyone on Earth who could kick my ass. And there wasn't anyone I could talk to, not like with yo…I mean "people", John stammered and began to play with the pen again.

Teyla felt tingles travel up and down her spine. She waited until his eyes returned to her face and smiled warmly at him.

Her smile filled him with courage. "Elizabeth asked me on the ship if I missed Atlantis. I told her yes, I couldn't wait to get back. That was the truth, but I mainly wanted to get back because I missed having someone to talk to and spar with and well, I know it's stupid, but I missed you Tey…'

"I missed you too John," she interrupted.

They just sat there smiling at each other for a moment.

"I'm glad your back," she whispered shyly.

"So am I," he said while standing. "I'm outta practice," he gestured toward her bag on the floor next to her chair which contained her fighting sticks.

Smiling she watched him begin to stretch as she bent over to retrieve her bag. His arms were wide open and he playfully did what he called arm circles, apparently he used to do these in something called gym class. Before she lost her nerve she stood and wrapped her arms around him. He tensed for a second, but then she felt his strong arms encircle her waist and he pulled her closer. She buried her face in his chest and inhaled his earthy scent. Breathing deeply she thought, _I'm home_.


	2. Better days ahead

Chapter 2

Better Days Ahead

(Missing scene to "Runner") spoilers of course

It had been two confusing weeks in the life of Teyla Emmagen. Two weeks since she had been in John's arms, two weeks after admitting they had missed each other. She had thought things might be different now, she was wrong. _Damn him. In two weeks the only way I can manage to get him alone is to be shot and tied up in a cave._ Teyla began wriggling her wrist and hands. Their captor hadn't gotten her bindings nearly tight enough. _With a little more work I will have us.._

John's voice interrupted her concentration. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting my hand free," she answered

"Didn't feel that way," he teased

Despite the situation Teyla smiled. His little flirtation filled her with warmth and lifted a weight off her shoulders she hadn't even been aware was there. _Maybe he has not been avoiding me these past weeks. He is probably just worried about Aiden, that is why he has seemed so awkward since that day. _She continued to fiddle with the ropes but her body was suddenly very aware of John's proximity. His back touching hers, the way her hands brushed against his with each movement she made. Teyla had realized she was attracted to him from almost the first moment they met, but now it wasn't just his physical. When he hurt, so did she, this tragedy with Ford had made her all too aware. She thought about him constantly and wanted to be with him every moment. It wasn't just a simple crush. _Oh shit, I am in love with John Sheppard. Snap out of it Teyla, now is not a good time to have an epiphany_, she silently scolded herself.

"Teyla," John whispered sadly.

Her hands stopped moving, "Yes Colonel," she hoped the use of his title covered the affection that crept into her response.

"I'm not going to be able to reach him am I," it wasn't a question.

She forced herself to continue working her hands lose, "If anyone can reach him it's you. He trusts you more than any of us. Do not give up hope," she patted his hand gently and went to pull away. His warm fingers wrapped around her thumb and index finger.

He squeezed gently, "Thanks, you always know the right thing to say," then let go.

A small smile crept up to her lips, "Your welcome, I think I have almost got this, just a few more minutes," she said.

"I'm sorry," he blurted.

"For what," she asked.

"I haven't seen you much lately."

She raised and eyebrow, a habit she blamed on John. "But you have seen me, in briefings and…"

"You know what I mean," he interjected.

Teyla said nothing.

"I've just been… confused. I know I've been acting strange, there's just been so much on my mind. But when we get back I was hoping we could spend some time together…" he let the invitation hang in the air.

She let out the breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding, " Well, she said trying to keep the eagerness out of her voice. "You certainly could use some more work on your lower blocks." Her hand slipped out of the rope, "I have got it," she said.

"Great, help me out and well be ready for Grizzly Adams when he returns."

Teyla cocked her head as he freed John from his binds. "Grizzly Adams."

He reached up and patted her cheek, "I'll explain it to you later."

"Is that a promise?" she asked while John shook his arms out and began scanning the cave.

"As long as you go easy on me." He pointed toward an area to the right of them near the entrance, "That will be a good place for an ambush."

She nodded and they took up position to wait for Ronan's inevitable return. John's eyes scanned the forest for any signs of movement. "You never gave me an answer," he whispered his gaze never wavering.

She simply smiled and studied the tree line. Things were certainly looking up._ Maybe when we get back I can teach him a new move or two._

She felt John's shoulder brush against hers as he inched closer. Teyla squeezed his shoulder. _Yes, definitely looking up._

Feeback is very appreciated

nicole


	3. Sparring

Chapter 3

Sparring

(Missing Scene to Duet) spoilers

_Who would have thought, that being 10 minutes late could ruin the rest of my day_." John thought as he marched down the hallway leading away from the training room.

" You were late," Teyla's words kept running through his mind. _So that gives her the right to just blow me off for that….behemoth_. " Ten minutes," he mumbled rounding the corner to mess hall. The scent of food flooded his nostrils and he grabbed a tray and began filling it with pasta. Even the promise of a good meal couldn't keep Teyla from consuming his every thought. John made his way to an empty table and sat down. He rested his face against his hand and sighed. Sheppard picked up his fork and pushed his pasta back and forth on his plate. _Okay, so I was a total jerk and I overreacted. Now she's so pissed at me, I'll be lucky if she speaks to me ever again_. He cringed inwardly at the thought of losing her. Memories of minutes before consumed him.

**10 minutes earlier**

_"You need to be more careful what you say to him."_

_Teyla stared at him, offering no response._

_"Dammit Teyla, what the hell were you doing with him!"_

_She turned, eyes blazing, "What was I doing. You seem to enjoy his company Colonel. Why is it you can spend so much time with Ronan, but I can't share a mere ten minutes with him," she challenged._

_"Don't get me started on ten minutes. I'm a few minutes late and you forget all about me. I mean really, could you have been more obvious with him," he spat._

_She blinked in confusion, then her face contorted with rage. "What is that supposed to mean," she growled._

**Present time**

_Damn was I an idiot. Didn't even apologize, I just ran from the room like a first year cadet who got yelled at by his CO_. John shoved his tray away, just the site of it made him nauseas. I_ need some fresh air_." Halfway out of the room he saw Teyla standing in the doorway still clothed in her workout attire. _I didn't know someone could be so furious and stunning at the same time_. John suddenly became very aware of the dozens of other officers in the room. He jogged across the area stopping only inches from Teyla. She opened her mouth and John pressed his fingers to her lips silencing her. He shook his head, eyes pleading. She allowed him to guide to an empty office across the hall much to his relief.

The door had barely had time to close before, "How dare you say those things to me and then just leave. Am I that easily dismissed by you Colonel."

She was screaming at him and all he could think of was how full her lips looked, and how nice that outfit accentuated her curves. _If she's that hot dressed.._

"Are you even listening to me? I thought you liked Ronan."

Crap. " I do, look, will you just let me explain," he tried.

She glared at him but remained silent.

_Good job John. Now what. Lie, or be honest for once_. " Oh hell," closing his eyes he said all the things he been hiding, even from himself.

"What do you want me to say - that I was jealous. Fine, I was…. I mean you two were…hell," he said running his hands threw his hair. "Okay, I'm an idiot, I just got a little crazy in there. That was going to be **our** time together, and you were in there with him. A man who is stronger, faster, and a better fighter than me. Then when he pinned you to the ground like that… I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. So how was I supposed to feel…" his voice trailed off as he met Teyla's gaze.

Her honey brown eyes were filled with moisture and she was smiling.

"Say something, will ya?"

Her smile became seductive and she walked over and kissed him gently on the cheek "Shall we continue sparring now," she purred into his ear.

John was left standing with his mouth half open, as she turned and started down the hall without saying another word.

Teyla paused and turned halfway down the corridor, "Coming."

John smiled and started after her. As they traveled in comfortable silence to the training room something his father had told him tickled the back of mind. "John, when it comes to women there's more than one way to spar."

His sparring partner nudged him with her hip and gave him that "come get me baby" smile again.

_Oh yeah, dad was right about that one. I have a feeling the next few weeks are going to be most interesting_, he mused as he returned the gesture.

reviews are loved

nicole


	4. Primal Urges

Chapter Four

Primal Urges

(tag to instinct) spoilers

_What was he thinking? Leaving her alone like that!_ John Sheppard thought as he stormed through the city without really seeing anything. He was a man with a mission, finding Ronan Dex and ripping him a knew one. Ever since returning from their mission he'd been feeling edgy. Sheppard had told himself it was post mission jitters, but he wasn't getting better, in fact, he was worse.

_She could have been killed. I'll teach him to put my woman in danger.  
_

John stopped in the hallway. "Did I just think that," he asked aloud. He shook his head and tried to clear his racing mind. _Something is definitely not right with me. _He leaned against the cool wall allowing it to penetrate his body, calming him. Breathing deeply he decided maybe finding Ronan probably wasn't such a bright idea. "Sleep, I just need sleep," he mumbled to himself as he began the long walk back to his quarters.

His thoughts kept drifting back to Teyla. How her skin shimmered in the sunlight, how graceful she was in battle, and how much he'd like to pounce on her during one of their sessions. It was getting harder and harder to deny his attraction. Especially now, in the middle of the briefing room she'd sat next to him. Normally that wasn't a problem, but today he'd had to literally sit on his hands and stare at Rodney to keep from kissing her luscious lips. Even then, he'd sworn he could smell her, a mix of honey and morning dew consuming his senses. Bringing him dangerously close to losing control.

_I've got to stop thinking about…_

"Teyla!" he yelped as they almost collided._ Didn't even see her I was so lost in thought._

"Colonel, she smiled reminding him how enticing her mouth appeared.

Taking a ragged breath he nodded and tried to walk past her. _Sleep, definitely sleep._

"Wait please," she placed her hand on his c hest and stepped closer to him. So close he could see the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. She licked her lips unconsciously and studied his face.

_Crap_. He felt something stirring below just from her being so near.

"Teyla, look now's really not..'

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you were injured and I was…"

John could see her lips moving, but no longer cared what was coming out of them. The words blurred together as her smell flooded his nose and he could feel his pulse quicken with every heart beat.

Her sensual face had become filled with concern. He ignored it, nothing mattered but being closer to this intoxicating woman. John allowed his hands to travel up her arms, when she didn't protest he gently gripped her shoulders and guided her backwards until he had her pinned to the wall.

_God, how I've wanted her_. He pushed her silky hair away and leaned in until his nose brushed against her neck. His other hand was busy exploring her hips and lower back. A tiny gasp escaped from Teyla's mouth, John lifted up his head and met her eyes. For a brief moment she appeared surprised, but then she smiled seductively and slid her arms up his back. Leaning in closer to her inviting mouth he whispered hoarsely, "I want you Teyla. I've wanted you for so long."

Her lips parted as he leaned in, her breath caressing his face…

"BANG." A crash from the room next to them reverberated in John's ears, having the same effect as a cold shower. He pulled away instantly, trying to hide the embarrassment and shame that had replaced his desire. _She'll hate me for what I just did._

"Oh god, Teyla I'm so sorry, I don't know what's….I gotta go.."

"John wait," she called as she watched him run away from her.

She sagged down the wall and closed her eyes. "I want you too," she whispered after him.

feedback is lovely

nicole


	5. The difference a name can make

Chapter Five

The Difference A Name Can Make

(tag to Conversion) so major spoilers

"Colonel, please don't make me do this," she fought the tears as she held her weapon with shaking hands. Teyla struggled to keep her breath steady as he turned to leave. Almost against her will, she felt herself pulling the trigger. She aimed at the ground in front of him, but the bullets seemed to have a mind of their own. Teyla watched in horror as they collided with John's chest. _Bullets from my gun_. Tears poured from her eyes as he collapsed on the stairwell. "No," she screamed while running to his side, there was so much blood. No matter how hard she tried she would never stop it. She ripped her jacket off and pressed it over his wounds even though she knew it wouldn't help. Teyla cradled his head in her lap and stroked his sweaty hair, "I am so sorry, this was not supposed to happen. You can not die, what would I do if I lost you," she sobbed.

"His now bluish hand entwined with hers, "It's …not ….your ..fault …Teyla," his words came out in small gasps.

"Yes, I let this happen. I should have told you what you mean to me when I had the chance."

He seemed to fight for every breath, " You….still…can,"

"I am afraid," she whispered. Before he could reply he began to spasm in her arms. She held him and begged him not to die. He convulsed for what felt like an eternity, and then nothing. Teyla felt his hand go limp in hers, the light in his reptilian eyes had gone out. He was lost to her…forever.

"No this cannot be," she whimpered as she shook him. "Wake up, you are not supposed to die here." But he did not move. Her mind went numb as she sobbed over his still body. She was helpless, she could do nothing…but scream.

"JOHN…..JOHN…."

Teyla shot up in bed and flung the wet covers from her trembling body. "Not again."

Awakened by her own screams she took five deep calming breaths and tried to convince her adrenaline fueled body to go back to sleep. After ten unsuccessful minutes she conceded. "This is never going to stop until I do something about it," she told herself. "The answer is right there for me to see, I have to talk to Colonel Sheppard." As she pulled a fresh shirt from her closet she could not help but remember an old saying from her village. "_Dreams are the minds way of forcing us to acknowledge all things we try to hide_." Teyla had never completely agreed with that statement. But now, well, things were different. "It is time to stop hiding," she said as she headed for the door.

Sleep hadn't been coming easy for Colonel John Sheppard the past few nights. He told himself it was an after effect of the virus, but that was nothing more than a lame excuse. John shifted further up on the bed and grabbed his football off the nightstand. His problem sleeping could be summed up in three words, "Unresolved Sexual Tension," he said while tossing the ball up at the ceiling. He caught it with ease and glared at it for a few seconds. "Your partially to blame for this you know. Had to teach her about you, show her that damn game." He sighed and tossed the traitorous ball to the floor. "Okay, so maybe those three words don't exactly tell the whole story," he grumbled while sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why'd I have to kiss her," he said as he straightened his rumpled sweatpants. _Because you've wanted to since you first met her_.

John sighed, not sleeping had it's consequences. I've had way too much time to think. . And his thoughts always seemed to head to the same place. His ever changing relationship with Teyla Emmagen. She was the closest friend he'd ever had, he trusted her with things he wouldn't even tell his mother. He'd tried to fool himself for awhile, maybe even succeeded at some point. But despite how horrible his "change" had been, one good thing had come out of it. It had made him face up to his feelings, and given him the courage to act on them. He closed his eyes and smiled. He could still taste her salty lips, smell her sweet skin, and feel her firm breasts against his chest. He remembered how he had wanted to take her right there on the gym floor. _Rip her clothes off and …. Crap_. John felt those familiar stirrings down below and decided it was time to take a long cold shower. Halfway to the bathroom, he tripped on his sneakers and barely managed to regain his footing. "That could have been fun," he raised his leg to send the shoes flying, only to find himself smiling. " You know, a run doesn't sound like a bad idea." John sat on the cool floor and laced up his Nikes. He grabbed a water bottle off his desk and opened his door.

"Holy….Teyla," he yelped.

Her mouth was half opened and her hand raised as if she had been about to knock.

"J..John, she squeaked. "I was just coming to see you," she said more gracefully.

"I was, uhh, going for a jog." _That was so lame, why do I always sound like a fool around her_. He plastered a fake smile on his face, and tried to act nonchalant. "So, did you need something?"

Teyla felt like he had slapped her in the face. _Am I that unimportant_. "I guess I should not have presumed it would be appropriate for me to disturb you at this hour, Colonel. I will bother you at a more convenient time," she said shortly and turned to leave.

Idiot. "Teyla, please, that sounded bad. I'm just a little surprised is all. You are never a bother," she met his eyes. "Never," he repeated.

Her face relaxed and she smiled.

"I'm sorry, why don't you come in?" She looked flustered, "You did say you wanted to talk to me?"

She blinked and opened her mouth, then closed it again.

"Teyla, is everything okay," he said while setting his things on the floor. He touched her shoulder and squeezed while trying to keep his face neutral.

_I will not "chicken out_," as John would say. "I am fine. And you are correct. I needed to speak with you."

"Okay then right this way," he gestured behind him.

She stepped into his room, and accidentally bumped against his left side. As her fingertips brushed against his warm skin she felt her pulse quickened and her stomach felt like the Athosian Hetu beetle was crawling up its walls.. _What is wrong with me?_

Goosebumps rose on his flesh as she brushed against him. He couldn't stop staring as she continued into his quarters. His eyes caressed her athletic body as she stopped, and began to turn toward him. _Yep, can't lie to myself any longer_.

"John," his face lit up like a child with a new toy. "Did I say something amusing?"

"No…it's silly really. Please just go on."

She scrutinized him for several long seconds before, "May I sit down?"

"Of course, here," he said while pulling a metallic chair out from under his desk.

"Thank you," she said while sitting.

John flopped down on the edge of his bed and began playing with the fabric. "You were saying."

"Yes," she swallowed, " I have been having disturbing dreams and.."

"The Wraith," he interjected.

Teyla's eyes widened. "No, something even worse than that.." her voice was barely above a whisper. Sheppard leaned forward, " It is about you."

"Me," he couldn't hide his surprise. "What about me?"

Teyla kept her gaze fixated on her feet, "I dream of you dying," her voice quivered. She took a shuddering breath and raised her head up.

John's chest tightened as he saw a tear track down her cheek. "God …Teyla…I'm sorry. But it's just a dream, I'm not dead." He slid silently off the rumpled bed and clasped her trembling hands, "I'm right here," he soothed.

"There is more," she whispered. Her hands clenched into fists beneath his, "I kill you. You are consumed by the virus, and I am forced to shoot you. You always die, I can never save you," she began to sob.

John guided her down off the chair and pulled her into his lap. Much to his amazement she didn't struggle, just snuggled deeper into his embrace and buried her wet face against his chest. John felt his throat tighten, it hurt like hell to see her cry. He blinked at the moisture he found had coated his own eyes. He rested his cheek against the top of her head and breathed in the smell of her freshly washed hair. He allowed himself to savor the warmth of her body as she clung to him like a life preserver.

"Teyla, you listen to me. You didn't kill me, you'd never hurt me unless you had no choice. I know that," he paused to let his words sink in, " You know it too." He stroked the small of her back and pressed his lips to her ear, "Teyla…you saved me, you could have shot me, hell I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. But you didn't. If it had been anyone else, I might not have survived. Please know that. You have nothing to regret, unlike me. I did a lot of things I wish I hadn't. My mind was.."

"Like kissing me," she interrupted quietly.

"No," he stated firmly.

Teyla straightened and turned around until she was straddling him. As she wrapped her long legs around John's waist she repeated, "No," her face only inches from Sheppard's.

In the entire time he'd know her, Teyla had never seemed so open and willing to show him affection. He wouldn't let this moment pass, he couldn't. John slid his hands up her hips and pulled her in a loving embrace, savoring the feeling of just being so close to this irresistable woman. Not having to remember to hold back because someone might notice she was more than just a team mate. As he stroked her soft hair, he realized he had some more explaining to do, if only he knew how. " That's one of the things I'm not sorry for.."

"But you apologized," she murmured into his ear.

John reluctantly pulled away and met her curious stare. "Yeah, well," he ran his fingers through his hair and began biting his lower lip. " I may have, you see I thought you would be mad at me. Our friendship is very important to me and .."

"You felt I was angry at you so you apologized not for the kiss, but for the way it happened," she guessed.

"Exactly," he raised his arms up, " Why couldn't I just say that?"

She rested her arms loosely on his shoulders and laced her fingers together behind his neck. "You said it was one of the things."

"You don't miss a beat do ya." She smiled innocently. "Yeah, I also don't regret asking you to call me John. It's kinda nice when you use my first name," he shrugged.

A warm smile wiped all the traces of fatigue and sadness from her beautiful face. "I do not regret our kiss John."

Somehow he kept his face impassive. Inside his heart was doing the Macarena.

"I was never upset, just….surprised." Her face became solemn. "I am afraid I may not be ready…."

John pressed his fingers to her mouth ," Shhhh," he leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I know. I'm just glad to have you as my friend. I don't expect anything, I understand you might not want to be anything more than that," he smiled sadly.

Teyla stared into those honest, caring eyes and realized she was doing it again. Hiding. The dream John's words echoed in her racing mind, "_You still can_." He was right, it was time to stop being afraid.

"John."

"Yeah."

" I do want more than a friendly relationship with you," she ignored his shocked expression, "But I need to take things…slow. A lot has happened these past few months. My new abilities, Lt. Ford…" She paused and let her confession hang in the air.

Sheppard smiled. He felt like the dorky high school kid who was getting ready to go on a date with the Prom Queen. Her legs tighten around him and her eyes pleaded with him to say something, anything. All the great one-liners he knew seemed to disappeared along with all of his other higher brain functions. She liked him. "Wow, that's great" _Doh, Homer Simpson could have come up with something better_.

The brilliant smile he received wiped away all his embarrassment. She knows I'm no Shakespeare.

"So you are okay with this then."

"Yep, nice and slow," he said while his gaze drifted to her plump lips. "As much time as you need."

"I should probably go then before…" her voice trailed off as their eyes connected. Despite her resolve her lips seemed to be drawn toward his by some invisible force. _What would it be like if I kissed him back this time_? Her breath quickened as she imagined his warm, wet tongue dancing with hers.

"Yeah," he said hoarsely, as her breath tickled his lips. He almost lost control when she took a shuddering breath and ran her tongue over her quivering lips. He knew if she didn't pull away soon he wouldn't be able to stop himself burying his tongue in her sensual mouth. He knew this, but was not able to bring himself to let her go.

Teyla took one last longing look at his handsome face and did the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. She sighed and leaned back away from his tempting body. "I must go now John," she said while forcing her legs to push her off his inviting lap. _Or I might not be able to_.

He nodded and his thoughts went back to that cold shower._ Probably won't even do any good now._ As they stood John slid his arm around her waist and began guiding her toward the door. Despite the tightness in his groin, he knew they'd mad the right decision. Past relationships had taught him that rushing into things usually ended badly. _I won't make the same mistake this time. Not with this woman, she's too important._ He opened the door and released his hold on her. She gave him one last smile and went to leave.

"Hey Teyla."

She turned, "Yes."

"You wanna have lunch with me tomorrow," he asked while shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I would love that John."

He beamed, " I never thought I'd love hearing my name so much."

She knew she was blushing, but didn't care, "I'll see you….later then."

"Definitely…..later." _You are more than worth the wait._

Reviews are loved and appreciated

thanks

nicole


	6. Small Comforts

Chapter Six

Small Comforts

(Tag to Aurora) spoilers

"John," Teyla's, concerned voice floated into Colonel Sheppard's ears Despite his somber mood it brought a small smile to his lips. He stopped and turned to see her practically running down the steps to meet him. She bumped into one of the new marines and he saw her mouth "sorry." The dick grunted and shoved past the Athosian without even acknowledging her apology. _I'll make a point to find out his name. We apparently need to talk._

"You okay?"

"I am fine, just a little.." she seemed to struggle for the right words. "Out of sorts."

John found himself smiling again.

"Did I use the correct expression?"

"Yes, you got it dead on." She began nibbling on her bottom lip and her eyes narrowed in concentration. "It means you said it perfectly."

Dead on," she tested the words. Her face relaxed, " I shall remember that."

John grinned sheepishly, he had been teaching Teyla all sorts of Earth phrases and slang terms much to Rodney's dismay. He'd almost lost it when she had told McKay to "suck it up" during one of their missions. The scientist has given him a look that could melt ice. "So," he started as he watched her wipe her hands against the sides of her pants, leaving a wet streak on each side. He also noticed her hair was sticking up in places it didn't normally. _How fast had she been running_. "Did you like the champagne," he asked while raising an eyebrow at her disheveled appearance.

"Yes, it was quite…interesting. The bubbles kept tickling my nose though. And," she raised her still damp hands, " I spilled the remains of my glass on my out of Dr. Weir's office."

"Ahhh, I see," he replied, his tone clearly indicating the opposite.

" I was in a hurry. You left so abruptly after the toast, I was worried John," she finished quietly.

He smiled sadly at the concerned expression on her lovely face. "Walk with me."

She nodded, and fell into a comfortable pace beside him, her bare arm brushing against his jacket. As they walked, he led her around a corner and realized how quite it was, they were alone. The sound of their boots hitting the ground seemed to echo off the walls, each step reminding him off his silence. He knew what she wanted, to know what had happened on that ship. Teyla wanted to help. A part of him wanted to let her, but what if it had been his team. He shuddered, _Would I have sacrificed all of us for a greater good. Ronan, Rodney…even Teyla._

He felt warm fingers entwining with his, blinking in surprise his eyes traveled down his arm until he found himself staring at his hand, linked with Teyla's. _She's holding my hand._

She noticed him gawking," Is this….okay," her voice held a smidge of fear.

John met her eyes, and saw the worry there, "Yeah, I'm just a little surprised. You've never done that before." She began to pull away, he tightened his grip and pulled her close, "But I like it," he whispered into her ear.

She blushed, and ducked her head, "Well no one is around, and I do feel that this qualifies as taking things slow."

"Yeah, this is nice," he sighed contently as they resumed their stroll. He couldn't help but sneak glances at this strong, caring woman who for some reason, cared about him. Squeezing her warm fingers, he brought them up to his lips and gently kissed the top of her hand.

Teyla was beaming as he slid his arm around her waist, "It's funny," he started.

"What."

"Nothing," he looked into her eyes and realized they had stopped walking. His knuckles traced a path down the side of her face. "Thanks for being here Teyla."

Her face became dead serious as she clasped his wandering hand, and pressed it to her cheek. "I am always here John. Remember that."

"I will," he whispered to hide the tremors in his voice.

She nodded and they began walking toward one of the lifts. John couldn't help but smile, he felt like himself again. Maybe he hadn't spilled his guts to Teyla, maybe he hadn't been able to save the ship of Ancients,…..but they were alive. His grin widened , _And she is holding my hand. Maybe this day wasn't so bad after all._

enjoy these so far, I'd love to know :)

nicole


	7. Addiction

**Chapter Seven**

**Addiction**

Tag to "The Lost Boys" and "The Hive"

not mine, don't sue

_all errors are mine.however..I don't have a beta for this story so if anyone's interested...please let me know_.

Teyla was beyond grateful that the worst was over. The shakes, sweats, anxiety, muscle cramps, and pain were but a distant memory. Now, she just had to deal with one very over protective and worried military Colonel.

"John, how many times do I have to tell you, I am fine."

"Many more." His strong, callused hands pressed into her shoulders as he gave her what on Earth was called a massage. She wasn't about to tell him on her planet only lover's would have engaged in such an intimate gesture of affection. Apparently, it was not the same on his world. Then again….they were on their way to being just that.

"You know, I thought I'd lost you that day," Teyla whispered. His movements slowed. "Then I saw you come around that corner and…." her words dissolved into a soft moan as John deepened his massage.

"Yeah, I was wondering if I'd see you again myself. It was a pretty shitty day." The slight inflection in his voice left her to believe there was more.

"But…" she prompted.

"But." Teyla could imagine the cocky grin on his handsome face. "There was one very high point to it."

He pushed her onto her stomach and began working on her still tense back.

"You know what that could have been Teyla?"

He mind went into overtime, tossing over every scenario and event…but Teyla could not think of a single thing that would have been considered a "high point" as John called it.

"Drawing a blank?" She nodded contently while snuggling into her pillow.

"It was when I woke up on the hive ship."

Teyla's eyes flew open, she pushed herself up on her elbows, and turned slightly to face him. She smiled sweetly and waited for him to elaborate.

"Got your attention now?"

"Yes," was all Teyla offered.

"My head was in your lap. A pleasant surprise a must say. You know that was the first time you've ever shown real affection for me out in the open. Well, unless you count the Athosian gesture you offered me not long after we met, but you do that to all your friends." He grinned mischievously. It reminded her of the children in her village when they received a gift on their day of birth.

As he spoke his massage never ceased. "But that was different. I don't know, it made me feel safe and …..loved. When I woke up in that hell, it softened the blow….literally." His face took on the shade of a tomato. "It was just nice, that's all." John shrugged and before she could reply pushed her flat on the bed again.

"I was very worried. I just wanted to keep you close to me…to protect you."

His voice sounded strange when he replied, "Thanks."

John coughed and then began kneading her lower back. "I'm impressed with you…..your strength never ceases to amaze me Teyla."

"My strength? You were the one who got us out of that cell and kept a level head while Ronan and I were acting like two primitives wanting to bash anything that got in our way. I was not strong….I was weak…. I gave in the drug." Her nails dug into her palms. "I let it control me," she growled in anger at her weakness.

"What the hell are you talking about?" His hands flew up in exasperation. "You did anything but let it control you." Teyla tried to protest but John shushed her. "Now, you listen here. I t was you who had the sense even under the drug's influence to realize that it was affecting you….and that it scared you how dependent you were on it. Then it was also you who kept calm during the worst parts of the with drawl even after someone died from it right in front of you. No one could have handled it better."

John touched her cheek and forced Teyla to meet his stare. "You need to believe that. I think you're one hell of a woman Teyla Emmagen." His smile was contagious, and his love was infecting her…..another addiction. She returned his charming grin with one of her own.

She knew he wanted to kiss her….but also knew he wouldn't . They were still taking things slowly, but they were progressing quite well. Lunch dates at least three times a week, training sessions four times a week, and then plenty of moments like this just spent enjoying each other's company. Teyla wasn't ready to take the next step yet….but she was definitely close. Close to what she wasn't sure. Dating exclusively as she had heard others from Earth mention. That would be nice…but it didn't matter if they declared it. John wasn't going to go off and kiss other woman. He had made his intentions clear. John wanted to be with her…and he was willing to wait. Teyla had faith that he meant that…she trusted him.

John brushed some hair from her eyes. "I'll get some water."

Teyla watched him walk towards the bathroom and realized how much better she felt.

Another addiction….perhaps….but one she welcomed.

end chapter seven.

Feedback is love...let me know what you thought. It is very appreciated.

_A/N: I am planning on writing one to epihany...you may have noticed a slight setup for the next chapter in this story._


End file.
